Tuesday, May 31, 2016

summing up a life in one line on granite

I have been dreading the purchase of my father's tombstone for months.  It is sort of the final act for someone you love, you know?  Its hard to sum up a life in one line on granite.  Its hard to pay tribute to someone who made a huge impact on your life in such a final, salutory way.  If I am being honest I have been procrastinating it for 6 months or so.  It has been on my to-do list since October.  Then yesterday for memorial day my uncle's wife posted this on Facebook.  I couldn't believe it!  This is exactly what I had decided to put on his headstone: "Beloved son, brother, father".  I just couldn't bring myself to make the phone call.  
It is so fitting.  Because those are the roles he enjoyed most in chronological order.  And he was BELOVED of us, the ones to which he fulfilled those roles.  I could not figure out whether or not I had perhaps filled out the paperwork during those first weeks after my father's passing?  It was all a blur.  After all, I knew I had walked through the plans and made the arrangements in a complete daze.  There really wasn't another explanation for it.  Because those were the EXACT words I was planning to put on the stone.  I loved the picture that was placed on the stone too.
Last night I finally got in touch with my uncle - my Father's brother.  It was him.  He did it.  He had some ideas about some important things he wanted to place on the back of the headstone.  Meaningful things.  Things that would have made him smile.  He also put a lot of thought into what to put on the front.  He had crafted a tombstone 15 years ago for his own father and he wanted to honor my father in a similar way.  
I am so relieved.  So comforted that this no longer hangs over me.  I recognize my Heavenly Father's hand in this and am grateful to Him for intervening in this way for me.  It is as if He walked these last 10 months right by my side and then helped prompt my uncle to do the hardest part for me.  
I love tender mercies.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Today I have been thinking about some of the things that I am so grateful for.
I wanted to write them down so I can remember this moment in time.
I'm grateful for my husband.  He is the yin to my yang.  he is not perfect.  But neither am I.  We complete each other.
I am grateful for each and every one of my kids.  They are as different as can be but I love them exactly the way they are.
I am grateful for this beautiful Texas weather.  I need sunshine.  It fills my soul with happiness.There is nothing better than a warm Texas day with the sunroof open.  I have had a lot of those lately.
I am grateful for school and for the opportunity to go to graduate school.  I am learning so much.  Some weeks are hard and stressful but I know it is what I am supposed to be doing at this stage of my life and that feels good.
I am grateful for good friends.  I am surrounded by them.  I always have been.  They have my back, they help me, they inspire me.  This year has been filled with opportunities for making new friendships that I will always cherish.   They make me want to be a better person.
I am grateful for the parents that raised me.  I obviously have been missing my dad these last 9 months.  My parents aren't perfect but I turned out pretty okay and I feel like they helped mold me into who I am.  I am grateful that one of the last things I told my Father (at Father's Day) was that he was the best father for me.  I know it meant a lot to him because I found that card in his living room many months later after he passed away.  I am also enjoying my weekly walks with my mom.  I enjoy her company and think of her as a good friend.
I am grateful that my missionary comes home in less than 100 days!