Showing posts from October, 2012

Not the Bread We Expected

From one of my favorite talks by S. Micheal Wilcox, "The Fourth Watch".
Have you ever looked back at a time in your life, when you thought Heavenly Father wasn't answering your prayers but then after some time had past, realized that he did?  Just maybe not the way you wanted him too?
I'm guilty of that. In Luke 11:9- "9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil , know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give athe Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" Sometimes we pray for bread.  Heaveny Father gives u…

Lessons from Job: His Grace is Sufficient

In my very last session with Brother Hinckley, he asked me: "if you could sum up what you have learned from this whole experience in one phrase, what would it be?" I thought for a minute.  And then it came to me. "HIS grace is sufficient". I said. Brother Hinckley smiled.  "Oh, I love that!"  "But tell me what that means". I went on.  "It means it doesn't matter if it is a day that I don't think I will ever be able to get through by myself,  a longing to be forgiven of something I have done wrong,  a task or feat that is given to me that I feel overwhelmed by, a change I want to make in my character, or a feeling of impending doom. If I put my trust in HiM, He has always seen me through.  His Grace is sufficient." I continued: When something not-so-great would happen to me I used to panic and say to myself, "oh GREAT! It's another red letter day for the ARGYLES, here we go again!".
"Now, I say, Well....…

Lessons from Job: The old me is never coming back

Here is another thing I've learned in the last year: It came to me like a lightbulb moment when I was in Brother Hinckley's office one day.  I told him that I just wanted the "old Shahna" to come back.  The girl that was perky and happy all the time -not this one that was somewhat cynical and jaded. He smiled. He grabbed my hand from across his desk, held it in his hand like a loving Father,  looked me in the eye and said, "listen to what I am going to tell you:  "the OLD SHAHNA is NEVER coming back."  I reacted with tears. "We don't want her to come back either."  he said.  I was confused. "The new Shahna has learned some things through her last six years that the old Shahna never knew.  We dont want to go back to that.  We want to explore some of the things that you have learned that have made you better and celebrate those things."  I thought about that for a long hard while after I left his office.  In fact,  and he g…

Lessons from Job: Faith and fear can't dwell together

One of the first things I figured out, while talking to Brother Hinckley - my therapist, was that I was so afraid of what was coming next, I was living in a constant state of FEAR.  As I thought about that, I realized that although I could feel the influence of the Holy Ghost in my life, I could not remember the last time I had felt COMFORTED by him.  I could pinpoint specific times over the last few months when I had felt help in making decisions with respect to my kids, my responsibilities at church, when others had shared spiritual experiences.  I knew the Holy Ghost had been influential in that.  I knew I wasn't doing anything sinful that would prohibit the Holy Ghost from being a companion to me.  I realized that in order for me to feel comforted by the Spirit, I had to dispel the FEAR and make room for FAITH. How to do that? Well, one of the things that helped alot was surrounding myself with FAITH FILLED things.  Music has always been a huge mood lifter for me.  I immedi…

Lessons from Job: Part One

Shortly after Brent had his life changing surgery and had his health fully restored, I started having anxiety attacks.  Regular, frequent anxiety attacks.  I felt like I was having a heart attack and didn't know how to make it stop.  It was usually triggered by something benign, something that normally would not even phase me.  One day it started because one of my children had lost her jacket at school.  I know, weird.

I couldn't figure out what was going on.  For SIX YEARS, while Brent was sick, I was a rock.  I was the one that constantly held our family together and was incessantly chasing the dark cloud out of the room during that entire time he was ill.  I was the one that kept things going.  Why, NOW, was I falling apart?

After much prodding from a loving aunt, a concerned husband, and a thoughtful mother, I scheduled a session with my Institute teacher who is a licensed family therapist. 

At the first session, he asked what brought me there (to his office).  I explaine…

It's usually through another that He meets our needs

President Spencer W. Kimball explained: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs” (“Small Acts of Service,” Ensign, Dec. 1974, p. 5).
My sweet friend, Cheri, just shared an experience that she had last week that I think reflects this oft quoted thought above from President Spencer W. Kimball.  I love to document these things so that I can go back and see the hand of God in the lives of His children. Cheri teaches institute to the young single adults in my stake.  She loves the calling and the young single adults love her.  Cheri also has a hubby that has to be out of town sometimes.  Last week she was feeling torn between her calling and being the extraordinary mom she is and always wants to be. As she was preparing her lesson and getting ready to go to teach her class, she found herself in humble prayer to Heavenly Father.  She had one daughter, Caty (age 11) that had not been feeling well earlier that day and an…