a confession and not the "bread" I expected
Okay, I have a confession to make.
But first a little background.
Last June when I was called to be a primary worker I was bummed.
I'll admit it.
Especially when I found out that I wasn't even going to be teaching my own son's class.
I was bummed because the bishopric counselor mentioned to me that my name was submitted by the YW organization at the same time but that they felt I should go into the primary.
I had just left "primary mode" 12 months before and I was super disappointed that instead of being given the chance to work with my girls and go to fun firesides and midweek activities, I would be waiting on the couch for them for an hour and half every Wednesday night.
Let me be clear.
I firmly believe you serve where you are asked to serve.
And you should do it to the best of your ability.
And I do.
I just was sad at an opportunity missed.
I might have even been a little resentful, if I'm being honest. I spent 17 years working in YW. That is, until I had a YW of my own. Then it was 8 years of callings that kept requiring me to be gone when my family was home. That was hard for me. Hardest yet, was last year when I was gone three nights a week for trek meetings and the whole time I knew that it was Tanner's last year living at home before his mission. I longed to be home with him more than my responsibilities were allowing me.
That is the confession part.
Here goes the bread part.
As I prayed for confirmation that this was where I was supposed to be, I feel like I got an answer that surprised me.
Heavenly Father was giving me a breather.
He knew I needed it before I did.
I have been running all cylinders for so long now, I didn't realize how burned out and tired I was.
It was a gift. a well-deserved gift.
And the kids are so stinkin' cute. And who can really argue with a calling where you only have to spend about an hour a week preparing and you constantly get told how much they love you.
I was reminded of some scripture verses from the Old Testament that are favorites of mine and that I have mentioned here on this blog before.
“If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?