One of the first things I figured out, while talking to Brother Hinckley - my therapist, was that I was so afraid of what was coming next, I was living in a constant state of FEAR. As I thought about that, I realized that although I could feel the influence of the Holy Ghost in my life, I could not remember the last time I had felt COMFORTED by him. I could pinpoint specific times over the last few months when I had felt help in making decisions with respect to my kids, my responsibilities at church, when others had shared spiritual experiences. I knew the Holy Ghost had been influential in that. I knew I wasn't doing anything sinful that would prohibit the Holy Ghost from being a companion to me.
I realized that in order for me to feel comforted by the Spirit, I had to dispel the FEAR and make room for FAITH.
How to do that?
Well, one of the things that helped alot was surrounding myself with FAITH FILLED things. Music has always been a huge mood lifter for me. I immediately made a playlist on my ipad of music that was inspirational and had a positive message. 63 songs to be exact. For several days, while the kids were at school, I would play that playlist throughout the house while I was home and in the car when I was running errands. Some of the songs were from my favorite church artists but others were secular that had a good message.
I read talks about faith and strength and hope. Here are a couple favorites.
Before I knew it, I wasn't having anxiety attacks anymore. Before this "experiment", I was having three or four a week. Once I surrounded myself with these words and messages of encouragement, I immediately felt stronger and more hopeful.
I also love this video clip on youtube:
I especially love the last part where Elder Holland says,
"Trust God and believe in good things to come".
Whether you are a member of my faith or not, I think there are principles in these talks and this video that are universally helpful and meant for us all. God loves all of His children and wants to help and ease our burdens.
In summary, lesson number one was that FEAR and FAITH can't dwell in the same place. We have to constantly be working to create a place in ourselves for the Holy Ghost to help us and comfort us. The way to do that is to fill our lives, surroundings, and days with FAITH FILLING things.
Lesson #2 tomorrow...